Counselors hear certain recurring scenarios that involve parents and studentsthroughout the year. Below you will find some samples of the most common situations we experience, and some tips to help you navigate them.

"Keeping up with the Joneses."    Remember that your child is unique!  We advise that you avoid getting caught up in trying to do what you perceive that "everyone else" doing.  We have seen that it can make you run around in circles and confuse both you and your student. When you have a question, go directly to the source and get the correct answer.

"I need you to call in my student to motivate him (or her)."   If your student is at-risk, academically or socially, the counselors are happy to support him or her. It is important to recognize that we certainly do all that we can to inspire our students via support, encouragement, and education.  However, we cannot force them to increase their academic productivity or make them something they are not.  Counselors are happy to assist students by providing advocacy and assistance when they are at school.  In our experience, motivation is something that students gain only when a specific behavior is consistently perceived as desirable and rewarded repeatedly (only then is the desire to repeat the behavior stimulated). Unfortunately, this model works not only with GOOD behaviors but also with BAD behavior. If a student goes home, does not do homework, hangs out, and gets "rewarded" for the behavior by being able to have privileges such as cell phones, computers, cars, and freedom in general, he or she cannot be expected to change the behavior.

"I decided to let my student be more independent."    We encourage you to resist the urge to let your child handle "everything" now that s/he is in high school (this is especially true about homework). What counselors witness over and over again is students whose parents decide to let them demonstrate responsibility by not checking in with them about homework, grades, attendance, etc. Unfortunately, often these parents also call us at the end of the first quarter when they find that their students have earned a "D" or an "F." It is imperative that you establish rules in your house about what you expect your student to be doing and that you balance your student's growing independence with taking some time to monitor what happens after the school day is over...and yes this means checking homework!  Our teachers, despite their best efforts and ability to inspire, have NO control whether or not your child chooses to do homework. Our teachers also do not have enough time in the day to call every parent every time a student has failed to turn in an assignment. What they will do is post the expectations regularly on their websites...and parents can easily determine whether or not the homework their students have claimed to have done matches what the teachers assigned.

"I'd better call the teacher to see if s/he did his homework."    Conversely, do not take your student entirely out of the "responsibility equation!"  Another parent temptation is to call or e-mail teachers constantly about their student's progress. Unfortunately, this takes all of the responsibility off the students.  They soon realize that they do not have to do anything other than show up for school and that their parents will do the rest. Instead, let your students know that it is THEIR responsibility to do what is asked of them, and to show you that they have done it. If you are interested to see if your student has done his or her homework that day, simply review the website, and make sure s/he has done what was asked and that s/he entered it in a daily agenda. If you have such a system in place, you will never be surprised when you get a progress report. 

"I'm going to call and request a teacher change!"    If your student has a concern about a teacher, the solution is generally NOT a class change. In fact, it is District policy not to change teachers. Students can have many reasons why they want to change classes.  Often, reasons such as the following emerge:

• The students have friends in another class, and they want to join them.

• The teacher or course is demanding, and the students have a "grass is greener" perception.

• The teacher may not be as entertaining as they would like.

If we attempt to change a teacher without first trying to solve the problem, it teaches the student to avoid coping skills, self-advocacy, responsibility, and problem-solving. Without developing these crucial skills, students will end up in college and instantly realize that there are professors who they will not like...and they will have no clue about how to deal with it. Our suggestion for students or parents who have a concern about a teacher is to follow these procedures:

• STRONGLY encourage the student to meet with the teacher to discuss his or her concern!  This encourages self-advocacy.
• If the student/teacher conference does not solve the concern, e-mail or call the teacher.  Often, after parent and teacher communication, the situation can be successfully resolved.
• If the e-mail or phone conversation does not address the concerns, schedule a parent/teacher/student meeting.
• If the parent/teacher/student meeting does not address the concerns, schedule an Assistant Principal conference.

"My student won't do his homework"    Students need consistent patterns and expectations to succeed, and they need a parent to reinforce them.  A school can provide instruction, support, motivation, and an optimal learning environment.  However we have no way to make your student do anything at home. Students will reach full potential if they PRACTICE what they learn. Depending upon the student, positive or negative reinforcement is an effective way to encourage consistency.  You can regulate behavior (encourage and support your students, send them to tutoring, take away preferred items or activities, etc.)

"My student has been acting differently... his attendance has become an issue, and his grades have dropped..."  Whenever a student demonstrates a drastic change in behavior, or even a change in behavior that has been gradual but destructive, parents NEED to rule out several factors.

Consider a physical.    Adolescents go through numerous physical changes, and it is good practice for them to have a checkup regularly. Certain physical maladies can certainly affect scholastic performance. Some parents may also wish to have their child tested for drug use during the physical. Unfortunately, drug use or experimentation is somewhat common during adolescence, and many parents have been surprised when they found out that their child, who would "NEVER" use drugs, has been experimenting with them. Students choose to "self medicate" for a variety of reasons, but the underlying theme is that they are developing habits that will unquestionably negatively affect them. Click HERE to learn more.

Consider a consultation with a therapist or a psychologist.    Your physician can make a referral, or you can find a professional who is included on your insurance plan. If you do not have insurance, you can find a professional who offers a "sliding fee scale." Therapists and psychologists can access your student for a host of common adolescent concerns including depression, sleeping disorders, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, bipolar disorder, and many other conditions that can adversely affect them both socially and academically.

Friend check!  Who does your student "hang around" with? Since peer pressure is a HUGE factor in a teen's life, it is crucial to talk to your child about what they do and who they do it with when they are out of sight. Frequently, when we find a student who is in trouble, some quick investigation leads to the realization that his or her friends are in similar situations.

"My student is having trouble passing a class at CCA...maybe we should enroll him in an off-campus course."   Although a student can transfer up to 30 credits of pre-approved off-campus coursework to a CCA transcript, it is extremely important to look at the bigger picture before you embark on this route.

• First, determine if by taking the off-campus course your student will in any way jeopardize his or her opportunities for post-high school goals. For example, prestigious colleges often question why a student who generally gets Bs or Cs in science somehow earn an A in a chemistry class taken at a school other than CCA (especially if the student could have taken it at CCA).
• Second, realize that if your student takes, for example, a math class off campus, such as Algebra II, he or she will still have to demonstrate math knowledge not only on an SAT/ACT but also for many college entrance placement tests (such as those at the UC/CSU). Hopefully, if the course was as rigorous and as inclusive as the one offered at CCA, your student will do well on such tests. If the course was easier, however, you are not doing your student any favor by offering the off-campus class as an option.

In sum , you should never HAVE to pay for an off-campus class, because a student can earn 320 credits at CCA (only 230 are required to graduate). If you do choose to pay for an off-campus class, keep in mind that your student's transcript will identify where the course was taken so any college may inquire about the off-campus courses.   

"My student is struggling in honors English (or math), even though we have a private tutor...is it possible that your teachers or courses are too demanding?"  Our teachers do have rigorous expectations for academic courses and are trying to best prepare students for post-high school success.  Often when students are struggling in certain courses, even with assistance, it is the case that they are in a class that does not fit their interests and skills.  If your student is struggling, get an honest opinion from the student, his or her teachers, and carefully review things such as work habits, extracurricular commitments, and inherent interests and abilities. You may need to adjust the schedule, homework strategies, or time commitments. Also keep in mind that CCA has tutors, and that our tutors teach the classes...so they are a logical place to turn to.